How would you cope with having to give up guitar

[brianmay]

Best of luck all you who have had to fight for your guitars. I'd be distraught if I couldn't play.

That said, fortunately I play (at) harmonica and can recommend them, and love reading etc.

I wouldn't have the temerity to offer advice on a subject I have no knowledge of, I can only encourage you to do the best you can FOR yourself, only you know when you've had enough.

[JGinNJ]

Lots of thoughtful, even poignant responses here. It strikes me that the bigger question is, how do you cope with a life changing situation, when it causes despair? It's one thing to give up something because you're no longer interested, it's quite another when a passion in your life is replaced with suffering.

I've found, as I've gotten older and had profound changes, it is indeed hard to look forward and adjust to a new reality, rather than look back with a sense of loss.

Just in terms of music, though- if I couldn't play guitar, I'd go back to trumpet. That would be an ironic choice, since my current life circumstances have steered me towards guitar and not playing trumpet!

[Earl49]

Originally Posted by Glennwillow

........."Every day is a miracle."

Amen, brother!

[coldshot]

Reading some of these replies really hit a nerve.
Glennwillow, I'd stopped checking out the forum regularly, work and life in general just took up more time.
I'd forgotten what an awesome group frequent this board, the encouragement from all is somewhat overwhelming.
Earl49, your comment about staring at the ceiling also hit a raw nerve.
I could describe every imperfection that ceiling had.
I'd become friends with many through this forum, on my first week in the rehab hospital I received a package from Tim and Mary McKnight with magazines from the 2019 Artisan guitar show and a hand drawn get well placard.
I had one of the young girls who did most of my occupational therapy with me when I opened it, even she had tears in her eyes seeing what effect it had on me.
One of Australia's best luthiers happens to be a great friend of mine, we've been talking about a custom build for a while and had even sourced the material a redwood top with figured sapelle back and sides similar the tree in tap tone.
Anyway he came to visit me with a Martin backers guitar one day, he called it my therapy guitar.
I couldn't even hold it, but yesterday I got it out and with the aid of a neck rest with the guitar sitting on a table I was able to fingerpick a little.
Thank you once again everybody for reminding me what a great group frequent this forum.

[Dbone]

So sorry to hear about your health troubles my friend. A lot of folks on here will be thinking of you and your recovery, myself included.

Stay strong. Don’t do anything rash with those beautiful guitars.

Take care

I’m sure I speak for everyone one here when I say, keep us in the loop on how you are doing.

[Red_Label]

Dang... that's rough OP! Hoping you continue to improve. I too have cervical issues that affect my guitar playing. I had them replace C6 a year ago, but I'm far from "fixed". I've also had two lumbar surgeries that affect how long I can play. I just enjoy playing as much as possible, and if it ever comes to the point that I have to give it up... I'll find something else to focus on. I've been playing pro/semi-pro for 35 years, so my identity is largely tied to the guitar. But it's far from everything that I am. And who knows... maybe I'd actually stop neglecting other parts of my life if I didn't have the guitar to get distracted by.

[Brucebubs]

coldshot I'm a fellow Aussie and I wish you all the best with your recovery. I read your opening post and it sounds like without the surgery you could have been much, much worse.

[TBman]

Hang in there Coldshot.

The body heals itself to a great extent but it takes a while. Don't sell your "stuff." Do a lot of "air guitar" to send those signals to your hands.

[Bain]

@ birdsong I have nothing more to add, so inspiring and to all who commented , to this ..... what a great site this is ...♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[jazzguy]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I will be praying for you (seriously). I would not sell your guitars yet. It sounds like you are getting better overall except your left arm. Maybe the nerves just need time to catch up? Don't lose heart my friend. Glad you shared this with the AGF community and keep us posted on your progress. We are here for you no matter the outcome.

[jazzguy]

Originally Posted by birdsong

Well, I sort of feel your pain and I am sorry to read about it. I can't really advise on selling a guitar or two - that seems mighty personal and for various reasons. But I can share part of my story.

I was diagnosed with a stage 4 cancer in early 2009 - they weren't sure I'd make it. And furthermore my oncologist said he doesn't really "commit" to a final outcome until 2 years post-treatment. They warned me it would be rough. That was an understatement (chemo and radiation). I could not do much for the first year. I was too up/down to play guitar for 2 years after the treatment. Before the 2 years were up though, I had to have a risky heart surgery (unrelated to the cancer; a byproduct of a somewhat failed surgery 2 years prior to the cancer). They told me the surgery could go either of 3 ways and 2 were not good! But it worked. (6 years later I had to have a 3rd heart surgery - due to a fluke blood infection that ruined my 'new' valve; today the heart is fine they say).

Finally in my 3rd year after the cancer treatment, I decided to try guitar again. It was hard. The chemo left me with some real neuropathy and the radiation/chemo left me with a lot of fatigue. I still deal with both 10 years later. I'd say it took me about 2 years of practicing, often only 10 minutes/night, before I felt like I was making music again. So overall it was about 4 years from when I began treatment to when I felt I could play a song and have it sound like a song.

Now I can play 45 minutes and it sounds pretty good. I can't play like I used to (a lot of bluegrass/flatpicking) but can play some of the tunes I used to play, almost to speed. I've grown to appreciate my new ways of playing my old tunes. I've had to come up with different plectrum and fingerpicking methods. But again it's working out.

What you have been through it a LOT. I mean good grief yours is quite the story. And my feeling is, to play again, you'll have to continue with that physical therapy for months. For me, I'm glad I hung there and waited. But we all react differently to these events. (btw I also had to re-learn parts of my speech and partly how to eat/swallow again; had a feeding tube for over a year).

I also did not discover AGF until the time I had the blood infection. My wife said "buy a guitar or two". I bought 6-7! But I've also sold a couple. I'm looking at selling a couple more. But I also now enjoy trying different ones. So I expect I will also buy a couple more in the years to come, unless my hands/arms just can't hold up well in a few years. We'll see. I have been to the abyss and back. And I am prepared to sell the guitars if I have to. I've decided I will at least try another type of instrument if I have to give up guitar - for example, I think I could play slide guitar if I can no longer comfortably fret. I've even told my wife that if things get really bad with my hands/arms, we're buying me a Theremin!

My Martin D-41 is a very nice instrument. It mostly sits now. and sat for those 4 years before I finally picked it up. I am now "ok" if I need to sell it. I don't have the flexibility I once did and the Dreadnaught is more difficult for me. But it sounds great so I wrangle with it now and then. Plus it has sentimental value.

Given what you've been through I don't think 8 months is all that long. I know it feels like an eternity - I was there. But for your body to recover, I agree it might take 2 years. I won't claim it was easy for me -- not at all really. I was angry and depressed for weeks at a time. Then happier. Then I'd cycle all over. I threw a variety of objects around the house when I got really mad about my condition - thankfully never a guitar.

I see no harm in either decision: to sell, or to keep, any of the guitars, for now. FWIW, soon after my 2nd heart surgery, I was felling sorry for myself and the unplayed guitars (and hadn't started to play again). I made comments to my wife about selling my Martin or Larrivee "I probably won't be able to play them again". Wisely she said "now isn't the time to make the decision - just let them sit a bit longer". She's such a good one.

I wish you success in any form, in your recovery efforts.

John

Hi neighbor - great post and encouragement for all of us.

[Daveyo]

The thought of not playing an instrument kills me
But I do love cars as well ,so I would probably buy a classic car
And put my time and energy into that
Also ,still listen to music of course
Prayers sent to u,give yourself time to heal
Good luck
Dave

[Hack Guitarist]

Sorry to read your story man. I would not cope well. 4-1/2 weeks ago I broke one of those little bones in my wrist. Of course I didn't know it was broken so I continued to use it for another 3 weeks before getting it X-rayed. I have not been able to play my guitar for several weeks now and I am going utterly stir crazy. I can practice scales with my left hand (the break is in my right wrist) but it's not very fullfilling. I have spent most of my time studying music theory for guitar which may be a blessing because it was something I was never very good at anyway. The universe works in mysterious ways though so I'm sure there is something for you around the corner that you maybe just haven't seen yet. Best of luck to you.

[Mr. Jelly]

A couple of years ago I broke my fretting hand. One of my fingers doesn't lay where it used to. Well into my sixties I don't heal like I used to. My hand aches often. I play daily and I am grateful for being able to play still. There are things I can't do the way I used to do them. Things I will never be able to do, ever. I deal with what is and I don't dwell on what use to be or plan on what may be. In a way it has focused me on what I enjoy about playing and making music. I no longer try to be able to do everything and play every style of music. It sucks but it could be worse and as aging continues it's obvious it will be worse some day. So try and enjoy what you can do for now anyway.