My marriage vs a Martin

[lizzard]

Tell him you want a D45, or a Goodall, or a Ryan or... (you get the idea). Then, when he freaks out, give it a beat then with weeping eyes, "well, am I at LEAST worth a 000?" Then Threaten to withhold intimacy and point to his indulgences. Then Perhaps leave at night and go to the tavern and "hang out." Then talk in your sleep: " Well all I 'really' wanted was the one guitar. It's not like I don't play it and I deserve some of the nicer things in life"

Or JUST BUY IT under the "easier to seek forgiveness than as permission" credo.

But when he asks for the motorbike, gun, boat... You know the deal.

Chris

(ps - yes i'm a psycho, I'm a guitar player after all)

[LadysSolo]

My SO and I each have bills we pay, and as long as the bills are paid, what we do with the "leftover" money is our own business. I get flack sometimes for "so many" instruments and "obsessions, not hobbies." But I give many things away to charity too, which keeps some of the flack down. I say "go for it," unless you truly think it will lead to divorce.

[Muffinhead]

Do you play FOR your husband? I always play songs especially for my wife. Songs that I know she likes and love songs that express my feelings about how much I love her.

If you make him part of your guitar playing, then perhaps he won't feel quite so left out when you do play.

[tbeltrans]

There are some interesting responses in this thread, many given in light hearted jest (such as my earlier post). Stories such as that told by CarryOn are particularly sad to me. I just now asked my wife (without telling her that it was hypothetical) if I could buy another guitar for $2,500.

Her response: "It is your money". In other words, we have the money and if I choose to spend some of it on another guitar, that is fine. However, what is also implied is that if we didn't have the money, then I should not be buying another guitar.

I have no intention of buying another guitar, but was curious what my wife's response would be. I think that when we read some of these stories, we are most likely hearing possibly half the story. If a family's budget is tight and the two adults involved are not on the same page in terms of spending priorities, there can be friction. There could be a number of reasons for that friction, this is just one possible common example.

The reason my wife feels as she does is because I have always had very good paying work, and we have had the money to spend, while at the same time living debt free and saving plenty for retirement. If that were not the case, her attitude would be quite different and she would (rightly) expect me to have the maturity to understand that bills and savings come first.

My point is that we really have no place giving advice on such matters in a forum such as this because all we can go on is what we are told. Nobody will want to give all aspects of the story to strangers (nor should they), so the likelihood that we have enough information to give advice (and the expertise to do so), is very slim to none. If there is any advice we can safely give, it would be to discuss it with your spouse and reach an agreement.

Tony

[Tico]

Every marriage is different.
In mine we have totally separate finances and interests.

He didn't even notice the $20,000 of new guitars and music electronics I bought in the last year.

[mattwood]

Show him the MSRP and then tell him how much you are saving him by buying at the lowest price you can find. Seem to work well for my wife.

[MHC]

Interesting - my wife rolls her eyes when she sees me perusing the guitar store sites, looking longingly at available instruments. BUT when it comes down to it, when I tell her that I'd really like to buy another guitar, she's always 100% supportive.

The moral here is that "eye rolling" does not necessarily mean your spouse will object to making yourself happy with a Martin guitar. Sometimes, "eye rolling" is all in good humor. (depends on the condition of the marriage of course).

[musicman1951]

You play 2-3 hours a day and you have the money? What is wrong with your husband? It sounds like he needs professional help.

My wife handles our money and pays all the bills, but I have my own small account (generally around 9 grand) so I don't have to ask permission for purchases like this. You're an adult and he should treat you like one. Actually: he loves you and should want to buy the guitar just to make you happy.

[Yrksman]

Originally Posted by kayharley

I want the 000-15 in sunburst so bad! Hubby just rolls his eyes and walks away everytime he sees me on one of the many sites drooling over it. I only have 1 guitar, I play 2-3 hours everyday and I work. So.....should I risk it or be happy with what I have now?

You only have one life.....as far as we know......

[dorable]

Get the guitar. It's easy enough to replace a husband.

[Neil K Walk]

I don't see the issue here. You've told him you want the guitar but haven't made any demands of him and you have your own discretionary savings. I say buy it but don't make a big deal of it to him because he obviously will never get it. if it motivates you to practice more, is more comfortable to play, improves your playing, gives you more confidence to play outside of your home, then it will have been worth it. If all of this happens and you can get him to come out with you to watch you play and see how others respond then MAYBE his mindset will change.

[fhubert]

Q: The difference between a husband and a new guitar??
A: The the old guitar never complains when you bring a new one home!!

[gjd100]

Originally Posted by fongie

BUY IT Kay! BUY it!.........then give your husband your Guild and teach him to play.

Not speaking for Kay..but best advice so far IMHO

[gfspencer]

Originally Posted by Pine

My wife and I avoid this kind of issue by budgeting. We have a joint account into which our income goes. Each of us has a separate account with our personal funds. How each of us spends our personal funds does not impact our budget, or the spouse. Lots less opportunity for conflict this way.

My wife suggested separate accounts 40 years ago and I thought it was a horrible idea . . . but I relented. It turned out to be the best decision that we ever made. We never fight over money or things that we want to buy. And we have had a long, happy marriage.

[TBman]

Text him that if doesn't buy you the guitar to look up his name in the dictionary and this is what he will see :