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  #46  
Old 05-07-2016, 12:09 PM
flaggerphil flaggerphil is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HHP View Post
Go to the bank and get a big bag of quarters. Then tell your husband you will sell yourself on the street to get the money for the Martin. If he still resists, wait a day and tell him you did it and show him the bag.

When he asked who gave you the quarters, tell him "All of them" and make room for the new Martin.
That's actually pretty funny.

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  #47  
Old 05-07-2016, 12:13 PM
Captain Jim Captain Jim is offline
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Originally Posted by aknow View Post
Take your hubby down to the music store and see how much they'll give you for him on a new Martin. Hubby's may come and go, a good Martin can last forever.
You people are SO bad.

Some guitars were bought with my money; some with our money. Since retiring (10 years ago), when we do take occasional seasonal contracts, there is generally some kind of a "bonus" - that has funded some guitars. I had just purchased an absolutely gorgeous 814ce a few years ago, when a "too good to pass up" situation came up on a T5. I couldn't justify spending more $$ on the T5... my wife said, "I'll buy it!" No, she doesn't play. She wanted me to have that guitar. So now, when I play the T5, she will say "MY guitar sounds good!"

I was a guitar player when we met. I'm guessing that was part of the appeal, 'cause it sure wasn't money or a fancy car. I've generally gone with the premise that she just wanted to tick off her parents.

That said, we support each other. We always visit about any purchases, and we like to encourage each other. I tend to be the "instigator", she works out the details. We did that in our previous businesses. Neither of us wants to be "a nag."

I put that in quotes, since the OP used that word a time or two. You probably didn't nag each other when you were dating... odds are pretty good you "wooed" each other, though. Keep that in mind. Take him with you when you go to a guitar shop. Get him involved in the whole idea of "the search."

"Can you hear the difference between these two?" "What do you think of the finish on this one?" He may not understand that there are differences from one guitar to another, but when he sees your face light up and hears how you sound, if he has any heart, he will want you to be happy.

A marriage isn't about "what I get and what you get"... there are way too many references to shoes vs guitars around here. Being married also isn't a 50-50 proposition... I think of it as 100-100. I would do anything to make my wife happy, and she does the same for me. Almost everything we do, we do together: biking, boating, beach time, RVing. With the guitar, I play, she listens and encourages. She gives me applause after each song. Yes, really.

She has recently decided to try her hand at quilting. I don't see that we need any quilts, but the projects make her happy. So, I help pick out patterns and layouts. And I encourage her 100%. And when she points out any flaws, I tell her I can see the love she has put in it, and that isn't a flaw, it is a "signature."

For the record, I throw a few "signatures" in my songs now and then.

Don't nag. That just makes most people want to dig in their heels even more. Work to get him involved. If he doesn't want you to be happy, the problem runs deeper than a new guitar.

Good luck. Oh, and this place is a great form of "therapy." But don't ever expect to hear, "You shouldn't buy that guitar," around here.

Jim
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  #48  
Old 05-07-2016, 12:13 PM
Zhoffritz Zhoffritz is offline
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Guitars&Gems' advice is the very best. Also, have you played the Martin you want, or just seen it on line? The reason I ask is because if it's not actually a good fit for your hands/shoulders/whatever, and you don't bond with it, that's going to be some serious ammo to your husband, not matter how thoroughly you may get him on your side after G&G's recommended conversation(s).
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  #49  
Old 05-07-2016, 12:13 PM
SixStringSinner SixStringSinner is offline
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Originally Posted by Mbroady View Post
A guitar is not worth risking a marriage over, therefore your man should take you shopping for a new guitar.
THIS!

Omg I almost choked on my pizza...
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  #50  
Old 05-07-2016, 12:14 PM
flaggerphil flaggerphil is offline
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To me, if you have the money and really like the guitar, go ahead and buy it. Someone mentioned telling hubby that you'll sell the Guild after you get the Martin may help...and it may. But if you have the money outside of the household expenses, buy it.

I'm lucky in that my wife has often bought guitars for me and doesn't mind me buying another if the money is there or I sell another.
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  #51  
Old 05-07-2016, 12:31 PM
martingitdave martingitdave is offline
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Best to have a meeting of the minds. But, I've never told my wife no. She's frugal, so it's usually not an issue. OTOH, she's less than generous with my purchases. She's a stay at home mom and I work.

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  #52  
Old 05-07-2016, 12:46 PM
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SalFromChatham SalFromChatham is offline
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I'm a lucky man. My wife pretty much leaves my relationship with wood boxes alone. We all need our releases and escapes. What could be more innocent than making music?

I say be honest with your old man. Tell him you want this guitar, and it inspires you, and you'd love his approval. It's not like you are one of the psychos on this forum (not an insult guys... All of us horse trade too much) with 15 guitars. You just have one and you would like another...

Good luck, and tell him if he doesn't get on board you will write a bunch of revenge songs...like Beyoncé did
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  #53  
Old 05-07-2016, 01:09 PM
Tony Burns Tony Burns is offline
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asking a question of us is silly -you need to work this out with your husband .
what we think does not matter -you should always be upfront and honest.
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  #54  
Old 05-07-2016, 01:31 PM
offkey offkey is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony Burns View Post
asking a question of us is silly -you need to work this out with your husband .
what we think does not matter -you should always be upfront and honest.
This is the correct answer!!

If money is a real concern I would contribute 50$ towards the Martin. PM me if that would help you.
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  #55  
Old 05-07-2016, 02:18 PM
Goodallboy Goodallboy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HHP View Post
Go to the bank and get a big bag of quarters. Then tell your husband you will sell yourself on the street to get the money for the Martin. If he still resists, wait a day and tell him you did it and show him the bag.

When he asked who gave you the quarters, tell him "All of them" and make room for the new Martin.
Neither funny or appropriate......
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  #56  
Old 05-07-2016, 02:29 PM
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Ok, I have to share my story, and I'll tell you know, it's a little long. I don't know if it'll help, but here goes:

First, I've played guitar since I was a kid, along with other instruments, worked in bands, recorded, given lessons, I even snuck out during my wedding reception to play a little with one of the guests. It's always been a part of my life.

My wife...not so much. Matter of fact, she readily admits she doesn't "get" music or why people flip out about it so much. To her, music is a waste of time, money, and energy.

One other thing, the wife controls the finances in the house, without question, paying the bills and managing our general and retirement savings, and does a fantastic job at it, and I'm thankful for it, because I hate dealing with money.

Well, nine years into our marriage, I started playing in two bands and decided I finally need to step up to a better guitar, a Martin D28. I wanted one since I knew what a Martin was, and at the time I was playing a solid-top mid-level Alvarez. Decent enough guitar, but...not a Martin.

I sat down with the wife and said, "I'm going to need about $1500 for this guitar, so for my birthday and Christmas, don't buy me anything big, just give me the money, and I'll save a buck here and there until I get it."

"You'll never save that, you don't have any discipline. Besides, you already have a guitar, you don't need another one. I'm so sure you won't save that that if you get to $1000, I'll give you the $500, but that'll never happen."

I immediately grabbed an envelope, threw $20 in it, wrote "D28" on it and stashed it in my amp. Every time I had a couple of bucks in my pocket, I stuck it in there, and every payday, when I took money out for the weekend, I grabbed an extra $10 or $20 for my fund.

I also told my family what I was doing, and that meant that for my birthday and Christmas, both my folks and my in-laws gave me money, and more than they would have normally spent, because I made sure to tell them that the wife said I couldn't do it.

Well, before long, I had $1000. Then we had an unexpected car repair.

Wife said, "How much money do you have in your never-gonna-get-a-guitar fund?"

"Glad you asked...I just put $10 in it today, and that makes an even grand, so when can I get my $500? HA!"

"You're not, and I need most of what you have to pay for the car."

"The hell you do. Give me my $500!"

That went on and on until many rough words were said, and then I said, "Do what you want with the car, but I'm telling you right now, I'm putting this money in the bank today, and I'm ordering my guitar when I get back. Period. End of story."

Then we stopped talking. For several days.

It so happened that when my guitar arrived, I was playing a four-day festival about two hours from the house, staying near the festival in a motel. I'd call every night to see if my guitar had arrived. The entire conversations would be:

"Hey, it's me. Guitar there yet?"

"No."

"Ok, bye."

"Whatever."

On the second day, the guitar arrived, so I said, "There's a Friendly's about halfway between the house and here. Grab the guitar, box and all, and meet me there, I'd love to 'birth' the guitar at the festival."

"You expect me to drive two hours round trip to bring you your *$%# guitar? Sorry, not happening. You're lucky I brought it in the house."

"Haha, very funny, quit joking around and meet me at Friendly's. This is a big deal!"

"Too bad."

Then she hung up, so I never got my guitar that weekend.

Once the car was fixed, the guitar bought, and weeks went by, day-to-day living took over, the anger on both sides subsided, and we got back to normal, but it was a rough, rough couple of months.

I feel like I was right in the end, though, because near the end of that rough patch, we had band practice at my house one week, for which she usually left, but she stayed, and midway through, she walked down to our practice area, stopped, turned, and said, "You know, I can actually hear a difference. That guitar sounds a lot better than your other one."

Now, all that said, I'll tell you that I hope you get your guitar. I'm not one to lust after a lot of guitars, I just have two (one acoustic, one electric), and it sounds like you're not, either. I'd try to explain that it's not really for him to say what is and isn't important to you; he may be content with few things and no real hobbies, but you *do* have an interest in something, and sometimes, that's going to cost a little money.

Good luck!
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  #57  
Old 05-07-2016, 02:41 PM
Zhoffritz Zhoffritz is offline
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Captain Jim, I really liked this:

"Being married also isn't a 50-50 proposition... I think of it as 100-100. I would do anything to make my wife happy, and she does the same for me. Almost everything we do, we do together..."

I wish all marriages and relationships would be that way.
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  #58  
Old 05-07-2016, 02:43 PM
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Jim Owen Jim Owen is online now
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Hi Kay,
Good luck. I've been married to the same spouse for 25 plus years, so I know that sometimes we have different ideas on how to spend money. I would try to avoid doing anything that would truly get Yvonne ticked at me, so I make it a habit to avoid major purchases without first talking them through with her.

So I think Sal's advice above rings true.

I also think you're onto something about the jealousy thing (and perhaps your husband doesn't really see it). In reality, you aren't going to leave him for a guitar. And you're not really going to fill more hours of the day playing the Martin than you currently spend on the Guild (okay, so during the honeymoon phase, you will, but in time, you'll settle in to a similar routine). Time is a zero-sum calculation: I suspect you're already practicing as many free hours as you can currently fit in with your life.

If you've always wanted a Martin you should have one. It sounds to me as if you have a stable home, a stable income, and you're not a frivolous person looking for something new on a whim.
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  #59  
Old 05-07-2016, 03:09 PM
The Bard Rocks The Bard Rocks is offline
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Denise and Capt. Jim have given you excellent answers - your marriage should be worth more than a guitar. That cuts two ways: he needs to realize that his marriage is worth more than the cost of a guitar for you.

I'd try to rouse some enthusiasm from him if you can, get him involved in the selection process. You need another's ears anyhow. If he becomes part of the decision -making process, it will be easier to agree. Ask for his help (listening to how it sounds, bargaining, finding the right place to buy it....) and bring him into the process and maybe he'll garner enthusiasm he now lacks.
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  #60  
Old 05-07-2016, 03:37 PM
fongie fongie is offline
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BUY IT Kay! BUY it!.........then give your husband your Guild and teach him to play.
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