When you feel like giving up

[Bookstorecowboy]

When you feel like giving up:

1. Remember that mastery is the result of diligent practice for years.
2. Try to get a little better at something very small and very specific.
3. Think of the goal as being five years from now, not today or next week.
4. Remember that everyone who ever worked at anything felt like this from time to time.
5. Try working on the theory or something else intellectual. If you’re already working on theory or intellectual stuff, work on something physical.
6. Switch to a different instrument or to voice.
7. Find something enjoyable to do on your instrument.

“Forget about your state of being for a second. Forget about your identity for a moment. Just do something. If you’re interested in it right now, then that’s enough to try it out. You’ll find out the most valuable information about yourself…by getting to know what the creative process actually feels like. The worst thing you can do is make your actions dependent on some rashly established axiomatic understanding of what your identity is.
“Your sense of self will evolve and expand until the day you die. So you’ll be waiting around forever if you insist on knowing who you are before beginning the work you feel compelled to do in the moment.
“Work. Risk. Try. Create. Experiment.
“Knowledge of self is the effect, not the cause of all these things.”
- TK Coleman

[Pdubs76]

Thank you for that. Very insightful. This happens to me quite frequently, where I find myself spinning my wheels. Sometimes stepping away for a day or two is what reinvigorates me.

[RP]

"Try to get a little better at something very small and very specific." and "Think of the goal as being five years from now, not today or next week" seem contradictory. I agree with the first but not the second. Daily achievements will add up to five year goals...

[AX17609]

I'd just like a little positive reinforcement every now and then.

[Mandobart]

I think this type of post/thread is one of the best reasons to have a guitar forum. Encourage those who may need it.

Just one of the many weird things about me - in over 50 years of playing music I've never once wanted to quit or give up.

I had a pastor who said "your passion is something you do even when you don't have the time." That's how I am with playing music. I've never thought about not doing it.

[BlueStarfish]

Originally Posted by AX17609

I'd just like a little positive reinforcement every now and then.

AX, you’re doing great, keep it up! It’s all about persistence.

Also, do you have opportunities in your musical life to regularly play (and sing!) with other folks? If not, it’s worth seeking that out. Even if nobody says anything, the musical experience alone becomes its own positive reinforcement.

[Mandobart]

Originally Posted by BlueStarfish

AX, you’re doing great, keep it up! It’s all about persistence.

Also, do you have opportunities in your musical life to regularly play (and sing!) with other folks? If not, it’s worth seeking that out. Even if nobody says anything, the musical experience alone becomes its own positive reinforcement.

Just can't agree with this strongly enough! Regularly playing music with other people has been the best single thing that has improved by playing, timing, rhythm, improvising, singing, dynamic control, and enjoyment.

Most of my friends are people I've been playing with for the past 15 years.

[Dave Hicks]

Originally Posted by Mandobart

Just can't agree with this strongly enough! Regularly playing music with other people has been the best single thing that has improved by playing, timing, rhythm, improvising, singing, dynamic control, and enjoyment.

Most of my friends are people I've been playing with for the past 15 years.

I agree - after all, you'll never get any feedback of any kind if you don't play with/for others.

D.H.

[rllink]

I've never gotten depressed or frustrated enough to want go quit. Sometimes my expectations get away from me and when they do, I have to walk away, sit down and reevaluate, take a more realistic look at what I think I can accomplish if I work at it.. I always have my head screwed back on and am good to go the next day.

[tbeltrans]

I appreciated the OP's post and even printed it. There are styles of music that lend themselves to playing with others, and others that are more solitary. It really depends on what interests a given player. I find that my interest in guitar ebbs and flows. I have other musical interests besides guitar and I switch to those when I want/need a break from a steady diet of solo guitar.

Playing in bands was fun, but I am no longer interested in dealing with scheduling, personalities, agents, touring, and all that. Been there, done that.

I tried local song circles, but I don't sing and it isn't fair, when it is my turn, to make everybody sit and listen to a solo chord melody piece when they came to strum and sing.

I have gotten interested in synthesizers and experimenting with trying my hand at composing. I am not into that whole "making beats" scene, but instead gravitate to cinematic, ambient, and other areas. The guitar can fit right into that sort of thing quite nicely too. In my area, there is a healthy electronic music scene complete with a very active quarterly meetup. I respect the styles that I personally am not into, so I get along with these folks.

Also, through much of the 1990s, I taught myself to play in a cocktail piano style and having that keyboard familiarity really helps my other non-guitar activities as well.

The guitar is but a small piece of a much larger musical universe and being able to move from guitar to that and back seems (for me) much more fulfilling than trying to make guitar be my everything.

Tony

[JonPR]

Here's my $0.02

Originally Posted by Bookstorecowboy

When you feel like giving up:

1. Remember that mastery is the result of diligent practice for years.

Now that really makes me feel like giving up.

Originally Posted by Bookstorecowboy

2. Try to get a little better at something very small and very specific.

Yes.

Originally Posted by Bookstorecowboy

3. Think of the goal as being five years from now, not today or next week.

No no no! The goals have to be short! You can't be thinking about 5 years time, because that feels like forever.
And what happens after 5 years? You'll have another 5 year goal! You quite simply never get there. And then you die.
No, this is the most depressing, deadliest way to think.
5 minutes is plenty. That's achievable. Then you have the next 5, and so on.

You have to enjoy every second you play. You should never think about the future at all. Even the next 5 minutes is risking being distracted.

Originally Posted by Bookstorecowboy

4. Remember that everyone who ever worked at anything felt like this from time to time.

Yes! Especially if they have 5 year plans!

Originally Posted by Bookstorecowboy

5. Try working on the theory or something else intellectual. If you’re already working on theory or intellectual stuff, work on something physical.

Yes. You have to stay engaged, that's the point. As soon as you get bored with what you are doing either stop or do something else.

Originally Posted by Bookstorecowboy

6. Switch to a different instrument or to voice.

Also good!

Originally Posted by Bookstorecowboy

7. Find something enjoyable to do on your instrument.

Yes! In fact, that should be no.1, and then you will need none of the others.
If you're not enjoying what you are playing, why are you doing it?

Originally Posted by Bookstorecowboy

“Forget about your state of being for a second. Forget about your identity for a moment. Just do something. If you’re interested in it right now, then that’s enough to try it out. You’ll find out the most valuable information about yourself…by getting to know what the creative process actually feels like. The worst thing you can do is make your actions dependent on some rashly established axiomatic understanding of what your identity is.

Right. So just forget about those 5 years, right?

Originally Posted by Bookstorecowboy

“Your sense of self will evolve and expand until the day you die. So you’ll be waiting around forever if you insist on knowing who you are before beginning the work you feel compelled to do in the moment.

Yes. Which kind of contradicts your point no.3, yes?

Originally Posted by Bookstorecowboy

“Work. Risk. Try. Create. Experiment.
“Knowledge of self is the effect, not the cause of all these things.”[/I]
- TK Coleman

Yes. But if you are playing music properly, you never need any of this sort of advice. Because you are thinking about what you are playing, nothing else. And when you are not playing, you're looking forward to the next time. Motivation is never an issue. Playing is its own motivation.

I've been playing guitar for 58 years now. Never once felt like giving up. Never once felt like I was wasting my time, never hit a wall, never felt I was on a plateau (except one I actually liked being on). Never lacked motivation. Sometimes I might not play at all for a few days, if I didn't want to. I had no schedule to complete, so that was no problem.

If I'd ever planned some kind of goal 5 years ahead (even 1 year) - without enjoying every moment I played - I probably would have given up. But enjoying the moment means you forget about the future anyway. That's as it should be.

Playing the guitar is recreation. Calling it "work" is OK, provided you think of "work" as something thoroughly involving and exciting. Challenging perhaps, but in an achievable way, minute by minute.

Playing guitar is not something anyone has to do. If today you feel like giving up - give up! Why not? Maybe tomorrow you'll feel like picking it again! There's never any point in continuing playing beyond the point where you're bored or not enjoying it.

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by JonPR

...Playing guitar is not something anyone has to do. If today you feel like giving up - give up! Why not? Maybe tomorrow you'll feel like picking it again! There's never any point in continuing playing beyond the point where you're bored or not enjoying it.

This is kind of how I see things, too. The guitar is not for everyone. In fact, it's probably not for very many people.

I have never felt like giving up the guitar since I started at age 16. That is, literally, 60 years ago. I still want to play the guitar, pretty much every day. But compared to many people, I probably learned to play more easily than many, so it never was a chore or a bunch of work. Sure, I've had to learn a bunch of things over the years and I'm still learning every day even at age 76. But I never saw it as work.

Like Tony, I like to mess around and learn on other instruments, too, such as keyboards and bass. The music world is huge and I've always been fascinated by it.

I am also somebody who is perfectly content to work by myself. Working with other people is fun. I enjoy it, but other people are not always easy to fit in with in terms of schedule, ability, whatever. So I am happy to work by myself because there is no hassle. And I'm retired now, so making music is part of my daily routine.

I have tried to get four of my grandchildren interested in the guitar. Every one of them has given up. Maybe they'll take it up again. Who knows. But if it's not for them, okay, do something else. Find something to add passion to your life.

- Glenn

[rllink]

I think having short term attainable goals feels much more rewarding than a goal of greatness in five years. A series of small successes vs one gigantic failure if things don't go as planned.

[Pickcity]

We will suffer one of two pains; the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. You decide which one you will endure.

Good luck.

[JonPR]

Originally Posted by Pickcity

We will suffer one of two pains; the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. You decide which one you will endure.

Good luck.

I have certainly suffered both of those in many areas of my life. Discipline in school -which had to be endured without choice - and regret in later life, which can either be endured or ignored, but by its nature can't be "unchosen" (you cant turn the clock back).

But I've never suffered either of them in music! Music was always an escape and relief from all that!