Ok, I have to share my story, and I'll tell you know, it's a little long. I don't know if it'll help, but here goes:
First, I've played guitar since I was a kid, along with other instruments, worked in bands, recorded, given lessons, I even snuck out during my wedding reception to play a little with one of the guests. It's always been a part of my life.
My wife...not so much. Matter of fact, she readily admits she doesn't "get" music or why people flip out about it so much. To her, music is a waste of time, money, and energy.
One other thing, the wife controls the finances in the house, without question, paying the bills and managing our general and retirement savings, and does a fantastic job at it, and I'm thankful for it, because I hate dealing with money.
Well, nine years into our marriage, I started playing in two bands and decided I finally need to step up to a better guitar, a Martin D28. I wanted one since I knew what a Martin was, and at the time I was playing a solid-top mid-level Alvarez. Decent enough guitar, but...not a Martin.
I sat down with the wife and said, "I'm going to need about $1500 for this guitar, so for my birthday and Christmas, don't buy me anything big, just give me the money, and I'll save a buck here and there until I get it."
"You'll never save that, you don't have any discipline. Besides, you already have a guitar, you don't need another one. I'm so sure you won't save that that if you get to $1000, I'll give you the $500, but that'll never happen."
I immediately grabbed an envelope, threw $20 in it, wrote "D28" on it and stashed it in my amp. Every time I had a couple of bucks in my pocket, I stuck it in there, and every payday, when I took money out for the weekend, I grabbed an extra $10 or $20 for my fund.
I also told my family what I was doing, and that meant that for my birthday and Christmas, both my folks and my in-laws gave me money, and more than they would have normally spent, because I made sure to tell them that the wife said I couldn't do it.
Well, before long, I had $1000. Then we had an unexpected car repair.
Wife said, "How much money do you have in your never-gonna-get-a-guitar fund?"
"Glad you asked...I just put $10 in it today, and that makes an even grand, so when can I get my $500? HA!"
"You're not, and I need most of what you have to pay for the car."
"The hell you do. Give me my $500!"
That went on and on until many rough words were said, and then I said, "Do what you want with the car, but I'm telling you right now, I'm putting this money in the bank today, and I'm ordering my guitar when I get back. Period. End of story."
Then we stopped talking. For several days.
It so happened that when my guitar arrived, I was playing a four-day festival about two hours from the house, staying near the festival in a motel. I'd call every night to see if my guitar had arrived. The entire conversations would be:
"Hey, it's me. Guitar there yet?"
"No."
"Ok, bye."
"Whatever."
On the second day, the guitar arrived, so I said, "There's a Friendly's about halfway between the house and here. Grab the guitar, box and all, and meet me there, I'd love to 'birth' the guitar at the festival."
"You expect me to drive two hours round trip to bring you your *$%# guitar? Sorry, not happening. You're lucky I brought it in the house."
"Haha, very funny, quit joking around and meet me at Friendly's. This is a big deal!"
"Too bad."
Then she hung up, so I never got my guitar that weekend.
Once the car was fixed, the guitar bought, and weeks went by, day-to-day living took over, the anger on both sides subsided, and we got back to normal, but it was a rough, rough couple of months.
I feel like I was right in the end, though, because near the end of that rough patch, we had band practice at my house one week, for which she usually left, but she stayed, and midway through, she walked down to our practice area, stopped, turned, and said, "You know, I can actually hear a difference. That guitar sounds a lot better than your other one."
Now, all that said, I'll tell you that I hope you get your guitar. I'm not one to lust after a lot of guitars, I just have two (one acoustic, one electric), and it sounds like you're not, either. I'd try to explain that it's not really for him to say what is and isn't important to you; he may be content with few things and no real hobbies, but you *do* have an interest in something, and sometimes, that's going to cost a little money.
Good luck!
|