Quote:
Originally Posted by dan daniels
im 30, and i already feel too old
at what point does it become easier to accept that you're never going to be the genius artist that you aspire to? some days i feel like packing it all in...
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A high school friend of mine dreamed of a life as a rock star. 25 years later, he made an announcement that he was giving up. He wasn't going to play out anymore. He wasn't going to write new songs. He was going to sell off all his equipment. It wasn't sad that he was giving up; it was sad that he placed so much emphasis on 'being famous' as opposed to just enjoying playing.
I can't imagine the urge to completely pack it in. I can't imagine the utter disappointment my friend is going through to completely give up. I think everyone goes through phases, of course. For much of my 30's, I didn't play at all. I sold or packed up most of my gear. It wasn't that I was giving up or had any dreams of making it big -- I just grew bored with playing the same songs to the same types of crowds. I had a family, a new house, and a career on which to focus.
My true passion is writing fiction, and I can kind of understand the frustration part of all this. It's a tough pill to swallow when you realize all your effort does not lead you to whatever goal you define as 'success'. That definition has morphed through the years, and I've found new outlets and avenues that I never thought of before. All that said, I've never considered not writing. I'd rather write a thousand more stories that no one ever reads than to never write again.
So, you may have to have a good hard look at your true goals, but to pack it all in like my friend would be really unfortunate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by djwayne
I don't want to play out for other people. I want to play for myself. I don't want to take requests for songs I don't know. I don't want to deal with any bar owners who demand you play this or that, or try to cheat you out of your pay. I don't want to play for people who won't stop talking while I'm playing. I don't want to hear anybody booing me. I don't need it. I'm very content to sit at home and play for myself. I'm very content to make recordings and share them with friends and family only.
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Wow, this is exactly how I feel. Playing out and dealing with all that became so not worth it for me. I met some great folks and received plenty of compliments, but to expose myself to that kind of scrutiny ended up being a total drag.
I've been thinking about this lately: what is it in us that we feel the desire to put ourselves out there -- to share? And why is that we all have such varied expectations for external validation? Some are happy playing for themselves and maybe a spouse or a pet while others will be satisfied with nothing less than playing concert halls and stadiums. It's interesting....