How many of you turned down offers to play in bands?
 

A while back I went and jammed with a husband of one of my wife’s friends and a few of his band mates. He is a band teacher at a local high school and a bass player. After a couple of sessions he offered me a gig in his classic rock cover band that has a steady 3 night a week gig here locally. This would have been 95% electric music in a lead guitar role. I looked over the set list and was familiar with most of the tunes, but I would have had to learn some of the newer stuff that I didn’t know.

While it was flattering to get the offer, I turned it down. I just can see dragging gear around 3 nights a week to a bar to play 4 x 1 hour sets. The money was decent and while it would have been fun to get out there again, I just couldn’t get excited about lugging gear around town. It was okay when I was young, but I’m past that time.

I've turned down in my life a few offers to play in bands ... for a lot of reasons. Sometimes I didn't like the type of music ... sometimes I didn't like the type of musicians I would have had to play with, either their abilities (I once went to a tryout and the first song the guys played was "Wagon Wheel" which they played incorrectly.) ... or their personalities.

Just a few days ago I turned down an offer to play in a classic rock band primarily because I lived too far away from where they were practicing, more than 60 miles. I was used to driving those distances when I was younger but not today. .

When I was 13 I turned down an offer to play with a local duo who had done a few recordings and even played down in Nashville a bit. I wanted to be a rock star and not play country.

Then at 14 I turned down an audition to play for Mel Tillis. Again, I wanted to play rock. I didn't realize until a few years later rock wasn't me.

In the past year I have gotten involved with a string band playing nursing homes and having a great time.

So yea, I have turned down some opportunities and I often wander what if.

Agree with Ralph. Sometimes the music isn't up to snuff, and sometimes the people aren't. However, there are times when you get both great people and great music in the same place. Hang on to that, my friends!

I've taken a hard left turn away from bands though. There are so many benefits to playing solo acoustic! Less gear, less drama, bigger paycheck ;)

But I still admit, nothing beats being in the "pocket" with a great group of musicians!

Like Ralph said there can be many reasons why we turn down band invites. Choice of music. Gig frequency. Personalities. Time constraints. I'd bet most everyone on this forum that gigs has turned down offers. Pretty common.

I gigged for decades, did many recordings, toured the mid-west twice and have been to goat roping and hog smoking.

I've turned down many bands.

:D

I'm incredibly fortunate to have had my own band for the last decade. It works really well because I do the arrangements and everyone else in the band is happy to go along with my suggestions. To be honest, it's a dictatorship, but works because that's the way the band want it. Anyone can suggest new songs and the only rule is if one person doesn't like the song we bin it.

We don't regularly gig as we're (I'm) very selective where we play. Again, being honest, it wouldn't bother me if we didn't gig. The enjoyment is in us getting together once a week, and making wonderful music together.

We have a gig at the end of the month in a world famous pub called The Jolly Fisherman in a beautiful little fishing village called Craster and we're having lots of fun working on the set and harmonies.

At the last count there are seven of us but I'm actively looking for a cellist to join us. I'd be happy for us to be twice the size. Lots of harmonies!

The group is made up of guitar, bass, 2 fiddles, mandolin, mandocello, banjo, flute with everyone contributing with harmonies to support our wonderful lead vocalist.

It’s all in the past now but I’ve turned down more offers than I’ve accepted over the years. I did the “hired gun” thing for a while but in the long run I’m more interested in collaboration than the side man role. I can’t suffer ego driven band leaders no matter how good they are, and I’ve encountered more than a few. In forty five years I was fortunate enough to be in three or four bands that really clicked. But they were the exception to the rule.

I would've turned it down. Odd to say, but I don't really like music. There are exceptions, and that's what I play.

But cover bands are usually ninety percent tunes I hate — pop schlock and arena rock. I've joined a few and never enjoyed it. I've alway quit before I got fired. Now I know better. I'd jump at the chance to play in a blues cover band, but most of the blues bands in Maine think "Wonderful Tonight" qualifies. Blechhhh.

Like so many others here, I gigged for many years in a band, then as a duo for a while. Since that time I've been invited to join a number of bands but for a variety of reasons declined all of them. I suppose if the right band asked at the right time, I might jump back in. I've always enjoyed playing in a band and performing.

Deleted. Pointless and sounded self-serving, even to me. :)

I've enjoyed playing and perfoming most of my life, strictly amateur.

I'm currently in a couple of bands, bluegrass and old time, that play maybe a dozen gigs a year. I've been asked to join others but don't for the following reasons:

1. Music selection - I don't want to spend any time playing "classic rock" or modern "country." I don't care if the venue is packed and the crowd likes it - I don't. I'm past the point where making more money matters. I can't make more time. I'm not gonna spend any time playing music I don't like.

2. Schedule - I'm retired now but I have a lot of activities. I'm not going to cut back on hiking, biking, camping, skiing, family activities so I can play in a band.

3. Personalities - I was in three bands with a woman who I came to learn was bipolar and kinda toxic. I'm always friendly to her when I see her but I always decline her offers to join her latest band.

4. Band mix/musicality - many of the duos, trios and bands I know in my area are all guitars. Two, 3, up to 5 guitar players, all playing the same parts, all singing the same parts. I'm used to playing with a variety of instruments and harmony vocals, and I'm used to performing with people who are pretty good at it.

I'll happily play in a jam or song circle with people of all skill and experience levels. I'm not going up on stage as a member of a band for hire that doesn't meet my expectations for good sound and professionalism though.

5. I'm really happier playing with people than playing for people. The bands I'm in are made up of friends I've been playing with for over 15 years in informal jams. Our gigs are really an extension of this.

I played in a busy R&R band from '06 to '10, and got that out of my system.

Moved to Colorado, and played the two good open mics solo for a while. Even that got to be too much like work. Met some guys who invited me to get together, but I declined.

The only thing I'd be interested in now would be an acoustic duo with a female singer. The best singer in my little town, however, has 4 little kids and zero free time for a project like that.

Never. Pretty much. You kinda got to join to see how you fit. I am now in 2 bands, but am often in 3.

Never turned down a band offer. But just last week, a nice young fellow at the gym approached me and said that he is a drummer in a death metal band. He had heard that I am a jazz clarinetist and sax player. And he invited me to "jam" with him. I might try it, if I could begin to wrap my mind around the concept.

David