More dad jokes...
 

When one door closes, another one opens. Other than that, it's a great car.

I live in a great neighborhood - it has a children's zoo. Last week 4 kids escaped.

My old man’s dad jokes were more like little funny adventure stories with a punch line at the end. He presented them as if they were real things that happened to him, and we kids absolutely believed him. Of course at some point we all knew that he invented them, but it’s somehow cooler that he took the time to do that. He really did amuse us. As a dad now myself, I realize that he was doing that stuff to take the heat off of my mom for awhile and give her a break. He was a good dad.

"Don't point that finger at me. It has a nail in it."

I never got it.
Until I did.

David

as a kid I remember my dad saying "if I could buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth I'd be a millionaire"...

“Run to the roundhouse Nellie, they’ll never corner you there.” :D

Guess what my mother’s name was.

Whenever my dad approached automatic doors or an elevator door, he would raise his hands and say 'Open, Says Me'.

Worked every time.